Friday, December 02, 2005

The Experiment

Murphy's Log: Stardate 3

You may wonder why I am floating through space aimlessly, shipless and penniless.

In other words, I am screwed.

Interesting story. On my way to catch that comet, I picked up Alpha, a funny little reptile, ugly, but smart enough to hold an intelligent conversation.
Regardless, he'd entered some stupid contest again. The little guy just can't get his head out of the clouds. Most of the time he enters these inventing competitions. The point is to come up with something no one has ever thought of before. Which is hard to do, considering the depth and scope of the universe. Despite many failed attempts, including edible cutlery (which was funny to watch considering Alpha's horrid table manners, what with all the regurgitation), I thought that he actually came up with a winner.

His invention was essentially a suit which allows you to travel through space using only the power of your mind. It was based on the design of the suit I wear to make repairs to the outside of the ship, but with one minor alternation. In order to cram in all the brain-wave readers (I don't know the technical term) the head had to be made about five times as large. Despite it's awkward appearance, this suit was brilliant.

This is where all my current problems started. Alpha, being of small stature, needed someone bigger to test this suit out. Which is, consequently the second reason he asked me specifically to give him a lift to the competition.

Me, being the Good Friend and Loyal Companion that I am, reluctantly agreed to test this out. The suit was a bit cumbersome to put on, but with Alpha's guidance I managed to squeeze in.
And then, to my surprise and discomfort, he got in with me.

"What if there is a flaw?" he reasoned.
As much as I like Alpha, this was getting ridiculous.
"Just don't expel your noxious gasses," I said.

We opened the cargo doors and I thought where I wanted to go and we were off!

And right at that moment, as the cargo bay doors sealed themselves behind us, I made a stunning revelation. I locked the keys in there.

As if that wasn't enough, the ship's computer came over the suit's intercom: "I've had it with you Murphy! Always going on these hair-brained adventures, leaving me all by myself with nothing to do but wait for your damn updates! I'm sick of doing everything for you without a hint of kindness in return. You don't even perform my daily maintenance check! It's over between us. Goodbye. I don't ever want to see you again!"

And with that, my ship's thrusters burst into flames, leaving behind a trail of space dust as I watched all my hard-earned cargo disappear into a speck in the distance.

"Hurry! Think about following her!" shouted Alpha.
"I can't think while you're shouting at me!" I cried.

That's when the suit malfunctioned.

And here we are, trapped inside a broken space suit, somewhere on the outskirts of this mixed-up galaxy.

On A Wing and A Prayer,



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